The results are in!

June 4, 2026 · 0 Comments

by BRIAN LOCKHART

I’m thinking of doing a poll on the current political situation and related topics, and see what people generally think of how things are being handled in the country.

Of course, I’m going to use a scientific method before presenting my findings as accurate and fair.

First, I’m going to come up with a series of questions to ask people. I think five questions should do it, maybe three.

That’s enough to gauge the current opinion of the average person on the street. Although I might just narrow that down to two, maybe one, to ensure brevity and consistency.

Then I’ll head out onto the street with a pen and a clipboard. Remember to always carry a clipboard when doing this kind of important and scientific work.

No matter what is going on, if people see you carrying a clipboard, they will assume you are doing valuable work.

Secondly, I’ll wear some kind of lanyard around my neck with an official-looking badge.

The badge must be laminated – that makes it official. If it’s not laminated, people will question your legitimacy.

Also, it’s nice to have your photo on the badge. Although you could also have a photo of Albert Einstein, Charles Darwin, or Queen Elizabeth, because no one ever checks your photo to see if it is you.

I’ve seen seminars at some kind of science fair or technology industry meeting where every single person in the audience had a laminated badge hanging around their neck.

That badge ensures no interlopers can sneak in and hear the lecture. It’s very official.

I will start my poll by visiting my neighbour Floyd at his barbershop. After an initial friendly greeting, I’ll ask Floyd some important, detailed questions.

If Floyd’s answer agrees with my own opinion, I’ll write in the right-side column of my answer sheet.

If Floyd’s answer does not agree with my own opinion, I’ll use a pencil to write it in the left side column.

Next, I’ll visit Emmett at his ‘fix-it’ shop. The same rule applies. If he gives the right answer, it goes into the right-hand column. If it’s the wrong answer, it goes on the left.

Then it’s off to the local schoolhouse to visit Miss Crump, the school teacher, who is on her break because the kids are all out in the schoolyard for recess.

This time, Ms. Crump provides me with the correct answer, and it goes into the right-side column.

There’s my friend Thelma-Lou doing her daily shopping on Main Street, as she doesn’t appear to actually have any kind of employment. I’ll approach her and ask her the same question, or questions and get her response.

I’ll do the rounds and visit Andy and Barney at the courthouse, speak to Otis the town drunk, take a ride out to the Darlings’ farm, and drop by to see Goober and Gomer at the filling station on my way back.

At the end of my scientific poll, I’ll report the results from those who agree with my opinion as the majority, and include those who don’t agree, as the minority opinion across the country.

Does that sound like a fair opinion poll? Probably not.

But that certainly seems how they do opinion polls these days.

The more polls are released before and between elections, the more I question the results.

A recent ‘poll’ came out saying Donald Trump’s approval rating is the ‘lowest in history.’

Really? Because there are millions and millions of people who love and support Donald Trump.

It doesn’t matter whether you like Trump, dislike Trump, or are indifferent; you have to admit he has a lot of fervent supporters. According to this poll, a full 30 per cent of people who supported Trump during his SECOND run for president have now changed their minds.

Maybe the pollsters did all their question asking in Oregon, because they certainly didn’t pose those questions in Wyoming.

I follow the polls and the trends they try to manufacture, and it seems the poll results, at the very least, have been skewed, and at the worst, are manipulated and derived.

Prior to the 2024 US presidential election, the polls showed Trump and his opponent, Kamala Harris, in a dead heat. Yet Trump won the election with 312 electoral votes compared to Harris’ 226.

It seems the polls have become nothing more than tools used to try to influence public opinion, rather than to report it.

My next stop will be to visit Aunt Bea and get her take on the situation.